“No one can hurt you without your cooperation”

No one can hurt you without your cooperation; you are hurt the moment you believe yourself to be so. -Epictetus

If being uncooperative, not accepting, and at the same time not resisting criticism from others, according to the Buddha’s experiential teaching, it is just as a ball hit against a wall returns to the thrower; so too will criticism return to the one who criticizes. To make this practically possible, if we follow the Buddha’s philosophy of “There is no giver, no receiver, no gift,” we will never be hurt by others.

உங்கள் ஒத்துழைப்பு இல்லாமல் யாரும் உங்களை காயப்படுத்த முடியாது; நீங்கள் அப்படி இருப்பதாக நம்பும் தருணத்தில் நீங்கள் காயப்படுகிறீர்கள். – எபிக்டெட்டஸ்

ஒத்துழைப்பு இல்லாமல் இருப்பது என்பது பிறருடைய விமர்சனங்களை ஏற்றுக் கொள்ளாமலும், அதே சமயத்தில் எதிர்காமலும் இருந்தால், எவ்வாறு சுவற்றில் அடித்த பந்து அடித்தவரிடமே திரும்பிச் செல்கின்றதோ, அவ்வாறே விமர்சனம் செய்தவரிடமே விமர்சனங்கள் திரும்பிச் சென்று விடும் என்பது புத்தபிரானின் அனுபவ உபதேசம். இதை நடைமுறையில் சாத்தியமாக்க    “கொடுப்பவனும் இல்லை பெறுபவனும் இல்லை பரிசும் இல்லை” என்ற புத்தரின் தத்துவம் கடைபிடிக்கப்பட்டால், மற்றவர்களால் ஒருபோதும் காயப்படுத்தப்பட மாட்டோம்.
ஶ்ரீ குருப்யோ நமஹ 🙏

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That’s a profound interpretation, drawing a connection between Epictetus’s Stoic philosophy and the Buddha’s teachings. You’re highlighting a powerful concept: that our suffering often stems from our internal reaction to external events, rather than the events themselves.
Let’s break down your interpretation:

• Epictetus’s Core Idea: The quote “No one can hurt you without your cooperation; you are hurt the moment you believe yourself to be so” is a cornerstone of Stoicism. It emphasizes that we have control over our judgments and reactions, even if we can’t control external events. The “cooperation” refers to our internal assent or belief in the harmfulness of something. If we don’t grant it that power, it can’t truly harm our inner self.
• Buddha’s “Ball Against a Wall” Analogy: This is a beautiful and apt parallel. In Buddhist teachings, the idea that criticism or anger directed at you, when not accepted, returns to the sender, is often illustrated. If someone offers you a gift and you don’t take it, the gift remains with them. Similarly, if someone offers you criticism, anger, or blame, and you don’t “receive” it internally, it doesn’t take root in you and remains with the person who offered it. This requires a strong sense of equanimity and non-attachment to external validation or condemnation.
• Buddha’s “No Giver, No Receiver, No Gift” Philosophy: This takes the concept even deeper. This teaching points to the ultimate emptiness (sunyata) of phenomena. When we perceive a “giver,” a “receiver,” and a “gift” as inherently existing and separate entities, we create the conditions for attachment, aversion, and suffering. If we understand that these are conceptual constructs and that all phenomena are interconnected and impermanent, then the act of giving or receiving criticism loses its solid, painful reality. If there’s no fixed “self” to be hurt, and no fixed “other” doing the hurting, the entire framework for suffering dissolves.
  In essence, you’re pointing out that both philosophies, in their own ways, guide us toward psychological resilience by shifting our focus from external circumstances to internal states.
• Stoicism: Emphasizes rational control over our judgments and opinions. We choose not to “cooperate” with harmful beliefs.
• Buddhism: Emphasizes understanding the nature of reality (impermanence, non-self, suffering) and developing wisdom and compassion to transcend suffering, leading to a state where external “gifts” of criticism simply don’t find a recipient.
  The practical application, as you suggest, is to cultivate a state of non-attachment and non-reactivity. When criticism comes, instead of immediately identifying with it, resisting it, or accepting it as a truth about yourself, you simply let it pass, like the ball returning to the thrower. This doesn’t mean ignoring constructive feedback, but rather disengaging from the emotional sting of ill-intentioned criticism.
  It’s a powerful and challenging practice, but one that promises deep inner peace.